作词 : Katie Stump/Davin Kingston
作曲 : Katie Stump/Davin Kingston
I got used to tears on my shirt sleeves
Panic attacks getting groceries
Deep breaths and incense and heartbeats
The simplest of things could break me
I got used to rationalizing
The trauma with fake silver linings
And living felt more like surviving
I never thought that I'd stop crying
Ooh, ooh-ooh, I'm finally healing my wounds
Spent so long broken in two, tryna glue back the pieces
I don't know what peace is or who I am
When the chaos goes away
Why do I kinda wish it stayed?
I spent a year trying to make it out
And I don't know how to function now
When the chaos goеs away
Why am I still not okay?
I can't even sleep through the wholе night
Or go by myself on a long drive
Will I be like this my whole life?
Already paid my price
Maybe I spent so long outrunning my past
That I still can't help looking back
Will I always be waiting
For my whole world to cave in?
Ooh, ooh-ooh, took so much time getting used
To everything breaking in two, tryna glue back the pieces
I don't know what peace is or who I am
When the chaos goes away
Why do I kinda wish it stayed?
I spent a year trying to make it out
And I don't know how to function now
When the chaos goes away
Why am I still not okay?
Fighting the pain gave me a purpose
I pulled my demons up to the surface
I made a home in all the discomfort
I found myself in all the dysfunction
I got so sick of asking for help but I
Still can't take care of myself, I got
So used to living through hell
That I feel so lost anywhere else
When the chaos goes away
Why do I kinda wish it stayed?